1. Believing Depression Is Your Fault

A common misconception is that depression is a personal failing, particularly because it stems from our minds. The belief that we ought to control our thoughts can lead to the erroneous notion that we can simply will ourselves out of depression. As my therapist emphasized, depression is a legitimate illness that affects the brain, akin to other physical conditions.

Viewing the brain as an organ subject to dysfunction was a revelation for me. I once encountered a comment that compared depression to being dealt a poor hand in a card game, which shifted my perspective. I realized that I had not chosen this condition, just as I did not choose my family or my height.

This belief that I was at fault only deepened my feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness, creating a damaging cycle of despair.

2. Feeling You Have 'No Reason' to Be Depressed

Despite having a stable home life, I often questioned my right to feel depressed. The absence of trauma in my life led to a false sense of guilt, which exacerbated my self-hatred and reluctance to seek help. My therapist challenged me to reconsider this stance: would I apply the same reasoning to someone with another illness?

Ultimately, depression can affect anyone, regardless of their life circumstances. It is important to recognize that there are no prerequisites for experiencing this condition.

3. Self-Blame for Failures

Research indicates that a significant percentage of individuals with depression experience feelings of inadequacy and self-blame. I often labeled myself as "lazy" or "stupid" for failing to meet arbitrary standards. Each mistake felt monumental, leading to further self-loathing.

My therapist encouraged me to list the evidence for and against these negative beliefs, which often revealed that my critical self-assessments were unfounded. This exercise helped me view my situation more objectively.

4. Feeling Like a Burden

During tough times, I often felt like a financial and emotional strain on my family. This feeling lessened when my mother posed a thought-provoking question: would I resent a pet for being depressed? Her perspective helped me understand that my loved ones cared for me deeply, and my struggles did not diminish their love.

5. The Trap of Isolation

Self-isolation can feel like a safe haven, especially for those with trust issues. However, research shows that loneliness can exacerbate depression and lead to various health issues. Though I still grapple with this trap, I have made an effort to connect with friends and family during difficult times.

6. Bottling Up Emotions

Many individuals avoid expressing their feelings due to fear of vulnerability. I found that suppressing emotions often led to overwhelming outbursts. Regularly sharing my feelings, whether through conversation or journaling, has become essential for my mental well-being.

7. Neglecting Physical Activity

Depression can sap energy, making physical activity feel impossible. Yet, studies show that regular exercise is vital for mental health. While I’ve started walking daily, it’s crucial for anyone struggling to find a manageable level of activity that suits them.

8. Impatience in the Healing Process

Recovery from depression is not linear, and placing a timeline on it can lead to frustration. Each person's journey is unique, and healing takes time. It's vital to be gentle with ourselves as we navigate this process.