Reflecting on the Past

Do you remember the days before constant connectivity? Back in the late 20th century, meeting friends in person meant uncertainty if they were late. We had no way to know if they were just running late or had forgotten about our plans. We simply waited and wondered.

I sometimes find myself nostalgic for those simpler times—when waiting was a normal part of life, and we weren't bombarded with constant updates. Nowadays, we feel inundated with information and believe we are enhancing our lives through technology. We think we’re saving time, energy, and resources.

However, when we take a moment to reflect—which is rare these days—we realize that while smartphones have made some aspects easier, they have significantly complicated others. Many of us, especially those of us who grew up without smartphones, are grappling with the trade-offs of having a "world" at our fingertips.

As a parent, I constantly wrestle with the question of when my pre-teen should get her first phone and access social media. For her generation, not having a smartphone feels like a major deprivation.

The Allure of Technology

In full honesty, I wasn't part of the initial excitement surrounding smartphones. When I received my first iPhone at work, I wasn't thrilled—just another way to check emails on the go. I was perfectly content with my flip phone, using my iPhone primarily for calls.

As time went on, however, I found myself relying on my phone for various tasks—navigating, finding recipes, and more. It’s hard to believe we once used paper maps or had to visit an ATM to deposit checks. Yet, despite these conveniences, I often long for the simplicity of waiting without knowing every detail of others' lives.

I find myself questioning the time and energy our smartphones promised to save us. We now have millions of photos to manage and countless subscriptions to juggle, and our attention is constantly fragmented by endless notifications and ads.

The Dark Side of Social Media

Social media, which began innocently enough, has evolved into a powerful tool designed to keep us hooked. As a parent, I am particularly concerned about the impact of these platforms on my children. I witnessed my stepson struggle with the effects of excessive screen time, leading him down a troubling path.

We know the dangers of social media, yet we still hand smartphones to our kids. Why? The pandemic certainly accelerated this trend, as screens provided temporary relief for overwhelmed parents.

While I’ve avoided giving my kids tablets, they are still drawn to smartphones for music, family photos, and video calls. My daughter, feeling left out at school without a phone, constantly reminds me that her peers are engrossed in TikTok trends.

The TikTok Dilemma

At just 11, my daughter is eager for a smartphone, particularly for TikTok. I can’t help but agree with GOP Rep. Mike Gallagher, who likened TikTok to "digital fentanyl." The platform is engineered to keep users hooked, bombarding them with rapid-fire content that disrupts focus and may even be harmful.

The alarming reality is that many TikTok users are under 14. While no responsible parent would ever think of giving their children fentanyl, we willingly buy them smartphones and fret when they become addicted.

Stanford psychiatrist Anna Lembke warns that social media can create dependency, akin to substance abuse. I empathize with my daughter's feelings of exclusion, yet I grapple with the notion of giving her a device that I know can be detrimental.

Parenting in a Digital World

I anticipate the arguments about parental controls and screen time boundaries. But honestly? I don’t want to navigate the additional responsibilities that come with providing access to a potentially addictive platform, especially when I’m already managing countless other tasks.

The pandemic has intensified concerns about youth mental health, but the root issue lies in our reliance on smartphones. Many parents share my anxieties, yet we struggle to deny our kids access to devices in a society that expects them to be online.

While I can foresee a future where my daughter uses a limited smartphone, the battle over screen time will undoubtedly continue. And at this moment, it feels like I’m losing the fight.

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