What is Emotional Flooding?

Think of being "triggered," a term that might sound familiar. When a person is triggered, they can either panic or emotionally shut down. This reaction is part of the “fight or flight” response. Emotional flooding is similar; it occurs when feelings escalate to the point where the logical region of the brain, known as the prefrontal cortex, effectively turns off.

The signs of emotional flooding can differ for everyone, but common indicators include:

• Elevated heart rate (often exceeding 100 bpm)
• Rapid and shallow breathing (hyperventilation)
• Feelings of anxiety
• Tightness in the chest
• Sweating
• Constricted throat
• Tensed muscles and clenched jaw
• Dry mouth
• Dichotomous thinking
• Difficulty concentrating or hyper-focus
• Unresponsiveness during discussions

What Triggers Emotional Flooding?

Triggers for emotional flooding can be varied and are often deeply connected to our personal histories. Feeling threatened is a key trigger, though perceptions of threats are unique to each individual. Previous traumas, as well as conditions like borderline personality disorder, ADHD, or autism spectrum disorder (ASD), can impact how emotional flooding occurs. Interestingly, those with anxious, disorganized, or avoidant attachment styles may be more susceptible to flooding.

Research by relationship psychologist John Gottman reveals that men are more prone to emotional flooding than women, with up to 80% experiencing it. This trend may stem from the suppression of emotions, which can lead to a buildup of negative feelings that eventually erupt.

How Emotional Flooding Affects Relationships

Emotional flooding can place significant strain on relationships. When both partners are affected, even minor disagreements can escalate rapidly, hindering constructive dialogue. In these instances, accessing empathy can be challenging, and individuals may misinterpret their partner's facial expressions as threatening, even when they aren’t.

For those on the receiving end of emotional flooding, it can be difficult to find a chance to express their thoughts or feelings, often resulting in frustration, fear, and a sense of helplessness.

Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Flooding

How can we break free from the cycle of fight or flight and maintain healthy relationships? Addressing emotional flooding is complex, as it often relates to trauma. Seeking help through therapy—particularly trauma-informed or couples counseling—can be incredibly beneficial. Recognizing when discussions become overwhelming and taking breaks can assist both partners in regaining emotional equilibrium. This might involve being aware of your own reactions, such as identifying when a topic triggers the symptoms listed above. If this occurs, it may signal the need for a pause and reflection.

Developing personal de-escalation strategies, such as practicing mindfulness or grounding techniques, can be effective in managing emotional flooding. For instance, mentally reciting the alphabet might help distract you from overwhelming emotions. Engaging in self-soothing activities, like meditation, can also support emotional stability.

Additionally, challenging black-and-white thinking and exploring alternative viewpoints can enhance communication.

Always remember, you have control over your emotions; they don’t dictate your actions. Even when it feels as though you’re spiraling downward, it’s possible to regain your footing.

Final Thoughts on Emotional Flooding

Love and safety are fundamental to any healthy relationship. Collaboratively navigating emotional flooding with empathy and understanding can deepen the connection and improve communication between partners. While it may take time, investing in this process is worthwhile for strengthening your bond. Finally, seeking support and focusing on personal growth within your relationship is perfectly acceptable. We all deserve to cultivate and thrive in love and harmony with our partners!

This video explores the concept of emotional flooding and its impact on relationships, emphasizing the importance of managing anxiety in interpersonal dynamics.

In this video, the discussion revolves around the phenomenon of overwhelm, or emotional flooding, and offers insight into why it's crucial to manage these feelings effectively.