Chapter 1: A Shift in Perspective

For many years, I have observed with disappointment those who follow fanciful beliefs simply because some misguided authority claims so during weekend services. The intellectual deficits of religion, paired with its widespread ignorance, has always struck me as a disgrace to humanity. However, after a lifetime of atheism, I now acknowledge that I was mistaken.

Ironically, I arrived at this realization through the most significant intellectual method humanity has developed: empiricism.

Empiricism is the process through which we come to understand reality. We observe, formulate hypotheses, predict outcomes, and test these predictions against fresh observations. If our predictions do not hold up, we discard the hypothesis. Conversely, if our predictions are accurate, the hypothesis evolves into a theory, remaining in use until a better explanation emerges. Science is inherently provisional, always striving for a more precise and comprehensive understanding of reality. We do not merely "believe in" science; it is a practice we engage in (or at least, some insightful individuals do while others are absorbed in entertainment).

Science does not rely on authority figures, costumes, or superstitions. It is firmly grounded in the tangible world.

This intellectual journey has led me, albeit with reluctance, to the conclusion that there must be one or more unseen forces in the universe capable of influencing fate. I reached this verdict after systematically dismissing all other explanations, as none could adequately explain the empirical evidence gathered throughout my life.

Here’s a thought-provoking quote from Richard Dawkins, a leading evolutionary biologist, regarding natural selection—the central mechanism of evolution:

“Nature is a miserly accountant, grudging the pennies, watching the clock, punishing the smallest waste. If a wild animal habitually performs some useless activity, natural selection will favor rival individuals who instead devote time to surviving and reproducing.”

This insight indicates that we should not anticipate seeing frivolity in nature. Elephants lack wings because they serve no purpose for them, and fish do not have legs since they are unnecessary for survival in their aquatic environments. Species possess traits that have been refined by natural selection over millions of years, adapting them to their surroundings.

And yet…

Humans stand out as an exceptional case.

Only we humans exhibit traits that are so extravagant and unnecessary that they fundamentally contradict natural selection. These traits could only exist if they were brought forth by one or more divine entities, often referred to as gods.

We are, of course, referring to the human brain: an organ of extraordinary complexity and sophistication. With approximately one hundred billion neurons, each capable of forming connections with up to twenty thousand others, no other creature possesses such a densely interconnected brain, which is theoretically capable of remarkable achievements despite its modest weight of less than one and a half kilograms (three pounds, for those living in remote tribes or the United States).

Yet, for the most part, this incredible organ remains largely dormant.

On average, a person utilizes only a mere hundred neurons, primarily for regulating automatic functions such as heartbeat and digestion. The two most active neurons in the human brain are dedicated to (i) inhalation and (ii) exhalation.

And that’s all there is to it.

When we acknowledge that the overwhelming evidence suggests that for most individuals, the brain serves merely as an unproductive ballast, intended to prevent head bobbing during movement, it becomes difficult to understand how evolution alone could have led us to this state. Nature has far simpler methods to keep our heads steady.

Thus, we are left with only the possibility of divine intervention.

Only deities, possessing a sharp and somewhat dark sense of humor, could devise such an elaborate joke. Only gods, free from the limitations of natural selection, could bring about such a peculiar situation.

Consequently, when faced with undeniable evidence of persistent human folly, we must humbly recognize the existence of a higher power—a higher power with a penchant for lowbrow humor.

As a result of this unavoidable conclusion, I now find myself an unwilling devotee at the altar of the God(s) of Stupidity, the Deities of Dullness, the Eternal Sons of Satire. We, the human race, are living proof of a cosmic jest, a cruel prank of which we are the hapless victims.

Each moment of our lives serves as irrefutable evidence that our existence is entirely the result of Unintelligent Design.